File Name: she comes first book.zip
The indispensable guide to sex by a leading expert. Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Download cover. She Comes First is a witty, well-researched and revealing guide to bringing a woman to orgasm every time through cunnilingus.
Pick up the key ideas in the book with this quick summary. Despite sex education in schools, there are still plenty of misconceptions about sex out there, especially when it comes to female sexuality. Just take the idea that penetration is essential for female sexual pleasure. In fact, if you want to give a woman multiple orgasms, you can forget about the, erm, ins and outs of penetration for a while. What you really need to learn is the art of cunnilingus. In this book summary, we remedy this shortcoming and show you how cunnilingus is done, from cuddly foreplay to throbbing orgasm.
Well, not quite. Most believe that the key to good sex is long, hard penetration. But to orgasm, a woman needs to have her clitoris stimulated. The G-spot is actually the base of the clitoris and is stimulated during penetration, so this type of orgasm is inseparable from clitoral orgasms. To truly experience mutual pleasure, penetration can actually be left out completely. The only reason penetration and male ejaculation are necessary during sex is to procreate. Neither are needed if the goal is to make your female partner orgasm.
Still doubtful about the role of the clitoris? Then listen up. People who have the congenital condition vaginal agenesis are born without a vagina, but with external genitals.
They are still able to orgasm. So what can you do to achieve your goal of making a woman orgasm? Focus on what your tongue can do. Cunnilingus is by far the best way to get a woman to climax. Think about it: your tongue is made up of several muscles and nerves held together by a membrane covered with taste buds.
There are many nicknames for the clitoris: the orgasm switch, the happy maker, the love button. These make giving a woman an orgasm sound easy — if only it were like pressing a button! In reality, the clitoris is highly complex. That's why learning the art of clitoral stimulation is important.
The clitoris itself is made up of the head, shaft and base, which together extend from the top of the pubic bone down to the anus. There are also unseen parts surrounding some of the vagina. Altogether, the clitoris has 8, nerve fibers.
These are the ten hot spots which need your attention:. The first is the head. Most people mistakenly think this is the whole clitoris. It's exceedingly sensitive, so at the height of stimulation, it's protected by a hood. The second is the hidden clitoral cluster or G-spot located at the top of the vaginal ceiling. The fifth is just underneath the clitoral head where the tops of the inner lips meet.
The inner lips are called the labia minora and are the sixth hot spot. During arousal, they swell to nearly double their size. The ninth is the perineum, which is the skin that stretches from the fourchette to the tenth hot spot, the anus. Similarly, the process of female arousal has a defined dramatic structure with a beginning, middle and an end.
During foreplay or Act I , a woman's mind and body gears up for sexual response. Her skin becomes increasingly sensitive, and her breasts swell. Certain chemicals and hormones are also released, putting her in a state of euphoria. The "love hormone" oxytocin is produced when her nipples are stimulated. The clitoral head also emerges from its hood at this point. The entrance to the vagina also narrows and lengthens by at least two inches.
The clitoral head retracts beneath its hood, where it remains until climax. Finally, the dramatic resolution: everything tightens as an explosive orgasm occurs.
This is a series of rapid, rhythmic contractions which happen to the vaginal walls and the pelvic floor. These movements are accompanied by sensations of sheer pleasure which cause some women to ejaculate a little fluid. On average, men only have four to six contractions when they orgasm. In comparison, women tend to have six to ten. This means that with a little stimulation, a woman is ready to start the process again.
The point of foreplay is to build up strong sexual tension before you go down on your partner. To do this, you have to temporarily stop yourself from performing cunnilingus. As soon as you place the first kiss upon her vulva, you break the boundary between foreplay and coreplay. Therefore, you should save this move till last. In fact, for at least ten to 15 minutes you should avoid contact with her genitals altogether.
That way, you'll create a strong sense of expectation. This is the perfect time to stimulate other areas of her body. Massaging her feet will boost the number of endorphins entering her bloodstream, so it's a great form of erotic stimulation. Another fun activity you could try is to playfully tie her up. This will bolster the idea of her surrendering to pleasure and also allow you more time to tease her whole body. When you finally reach the point of placing the first kiss upon her vulva, treat it ceremoniously.
Make her feel appreciated by showing her genital area your undivided attention. Try breathing gently on her vulva or kiss her on her inner thighs and through her underwear. But before you go ahead, are you both comfortable? The Sit On My Face position is a major turn on for some, but it's not exactly ideal.
Instead, get into positions that you can both sustain with ease. Have her to lie on her back so that she feels comfortable and can watch. You'll also be free to look up at her without interrupting the flow. Throughout these stages, the sexual tension should build and culminate in a satiating orgasm for your partner. At the second stage, a good technique to employ is to do five vertical halfway licks followed by a long lick that gently brushes the head of her clitoris.
At the same time, partially insert your index finger into her vaginal entrance. Stage three is all about building tension by placing more focus on the clitoral head. Each time you perform five vertical licks which merely graze the bottom of the head, include one horizontal stroke which fully brushes it. At stage four, continue with the same rhythm but incorporate a fresh move — press the head with your tongue and hold for five seconds. At this point, insert a second finger.
Press both of your fingers against the vaginal ceiling and feel for her G-spot. As you reach stage five — known as the pre-orgasm period — maintain that balance of rhythm and pressure as she nears climax. Focus on administering pressure but provide resistance at the same time — slow down your strokes and continue to press on the clitoral head. Let her freely move against your tongue as she becomes more involved in the act. Keep your two fingers inserted and use your thumb to press against her frenulum.
This way, her G-spot receives peak stimulation. When it comes to stage six, help her have the most satisfying orgasm by maintaining the pressure and holding her in place throughout the contractions. Many fantasize about being with a woman who can orgasm over and over again.
Most women do have the ability to experience multiple orgasms, but they need to receive the right clitoral stimulation to do so. Moreplay is the ideal opportunity to return to the pre-aroused state together before helping her come again.
So go back to the initial foreplay stage by focusing on kissing, embracing and touching her softly. A woman may not lose her erection in the obvious way that a man does, but she still needs time to recover because her clitoris is very sensitive after an orgasm.
This time around, you can even involve your penis. Choose a suitable sexual position. Instead, celebrate the brilliance of sex by taking an extra 15 minutes of moreplay to kiss and cuddle and stay connected. You should now be able to view cunnilingus as having a beginning, a middle and an end.
However, there are more rules to learn that apply to the entire process. To remind yourself, here are Three Assurances to recall. The First Assurance is to remember that you receive an equal amount of enjoyment from the act of going down on her. The Second Assurance is all about giving her as much time as she needs to orgasm. If you find yourself wondering how long the cunnilingus session should last, the answer is as long as it takes her to climax.
Generally speaking though, the process sans foreplay tends to last 15 to 45 minutes. However it pans out, never rush the process.
By PDF Summaries. The author of the book discusses an issue that many couples are aware of. They wish that their sex life could be better. Or more specifically, many women are not satisfied. It kind of clearly tells you what it is all about. It is an explicit guide to help men learn how to successfully bring a woman to orgasm. Our guide is intended to be a condensed summary of this very popular book.
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The original book is not considered as a quick read. But here you will find the key summary points from each chapter condensed into a clear, and simple, quick read. Our summary analysis can be used as a companion to the book.
She Comes First will condense a wealth of experience and expertise into a simple, essential rule book; it will elaborate on the principles and philosophy that.Reply